Almost Aphorisms

Exit Sign Reflected at 20 Cooper Square © Margaret Chirdo
  Some aphorisms from a writing activity two years ago. Feel free to disagree with any or all of them. 

  • Sleep is best with shoes on and alarms off.
  • If the nicest way a partner can describe you is “endearing”, leave.
  • Drinking cough-syrup is ill-advised.
  • High self-esteem is looking in the magnified side of a mirror and not cringing.
  •  If you enter an elevator going the wrong way, you must commit.
  • Commitment is eating a pomegranate.
  • Conspiracy theories are not scary. Any possibility the world is exactly as it seems is scary.
  • You will never see an entire object at once.
  • Saying ‘all artists suffer’ is an omission. We all suffer, artists just know how to use that suffering, how to type suffering in 12 point font, how to take a paintbrush and cover a canvas with suffering, how to announce suffering in D minor, how to profit from suffering.
  • Death is no longer caring when someone leaves the cursor in the middle of a video.
  • Death is being okay with stray marks on a whiteboard.
  •  Death is not briefly giggling when viewing genitalia in art.
  • The triumphs of humankind know no limit: we have forcefully conditioned air to our liking!
  • Miscellaneous is the most important category.

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